Secrets behind the Glass
by Paisley Mae
Summary: Sarah didn't want them to look at her "like that," so she didn't tell them. She wanted to live her life without the baggage from her past weighing her down. Learn the real reason why Sarah and her parents moved to Glen Oak.
1. Chapter 1

The Secrets behind the Glass

Her head spun with nausea. She had been craving grape fruit for a week. She hated grape fruit. Also, she was a week late. While she was not officially a doctor, Sarah felt that she had been through enough medical classes to know what her symptoms indicated.

She had gone through the same scare almost two years ago. Two years ago, she had made the mistake in telling Matt. And because of her telling him, she had gotten him all worked up. He had mentioned it to a nurse, who had mentioned it to Matt's father. Gossip traveled fast in Glen Oak, and it wasn't long before both of Matt's parents and both of her parents knew. And when it turned out to be false, Matt had to tell them all that it wasn't true.

Because of what had happened last time, Sarah knew that she couldn't tell her own husband until she was absolutely certain.

Her first suspicions had arisen three days earlier. Since she had started medical school, her period had been all over the place. She blamed the excess stress. Stress was never something she handled lightly. Sometimes she wondered why she had even bothered going to medical school. It wasn't like she hadn't known it was going to be stressful. Somehow, she had had a crazy-insane idea that getting married before medical school would help alleviate some of that stress. She had been wrong. Marriage had only added a burden that she wouldn't have had if she were single.

It wasn't that she didn't love Matt. She did. She loved Matt with all her heart. However, she didn't love competing against him. He was amazing in so many ways, and she felt like she couldn't compete with him.

In medical school, every move she made was carefully observed. If she made one wrong move, she could be failed out of the program. Each semester more students were dropped out of the program because they failed to meet expectations. Only the best of the best moved on each semester.

Sarah didn't want to imagine what would happen if she failed out and Matt passed on. Though, she knew that he was under as much pressure and stress as she was. But she knew that he could do it. As for herself, she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure if she was capable of achieving success.

When she looked at her countdown calendar and realized she was only one and a half semesters away from graduating medical school, she was in absolute disbelief.

It was nine o'clock on Saturday morning. She was supposed to be working at the hospital, but she had called in sick. In her field, she knew calling in sick was a risky thing to do. One sick day, and all her hard work could become a waste.

Last week, a flu epidemic had spread around the hospital. About half of the medical students had called in sick throughout the week. So, it wasn't too suspicious of her to do the same. Matt had actually encouraged her to call in, insisting she needed to spend the day relaxing. He was supposed to get off at five, and when he did, he promised to come back and nurture her.

Matt was so sweet, Sarah had to give him credit for that. She felt bad for not being fully truthful with him.

Her head spun like it did when she was a small child, and her dad was spinning her around on the merry-go-round. When she was growing up in Brooklyn, there had been a park down the street from her house.

Flatbush brought back many memories for her, and until three days ago, her burdensome past had not crossed her mind in years. She had managed to put it all behind her, or at least it was pushed to the back of her mind. There were times she had considered reverting back to her old ways, but she had pushed passed those times—for the most part.

There was once she had heavily considered relapsing, about two years ago. The stress had been eating heavily at her, and she had pushed Matt away. She had left him and met up with some friends she hadn't seen in years. Fortunately, before she could inflict true harm on herself, she had come to her senses. But she hadn't come to her senses on her own.

Matt had flown out to Glen Oak to see her parents. She was grateful that her parents hadn't told him the truth. But he had worried them, and her parents had contacted her relatives in New York to "check in" on her.

If Matt knew the real reason she had been pushing him away, she didn't know what he'd think about her. She didn't want him to look at her that way; the way her parents had for years, and still did; the way the doctors had looked at her; the way her aunts, uncles, and cousins looked at her. Matt and his family, her peers, and her professors and supervisors were the only ones who didn't see her like that, and she wanted to keep it that way.

The first flashbacks hit her hard three nights ago. She had awoken feeling nauseous for the first time that next morning. She had considered calling in sick that day, but she pushed past it all and went into work anyway. After all, she figured going to work would help ease her mind.

When the nausea went away, and the cravings set in only a few hours after she had arrived at the hospital, Sarah started to become suspicious. Her mind wandered, mostly to the food court.

That night, her dreams only became stronger and more vivid. She didn't know what could have possibly triggered them. Then, the next day – yesterday – flashbacks started to hit her randomly throughout the day.

She had considered calling her mother, but the last thing Sarah wanted to do was upset her parents. Her parents hadn't mentioned any of it since their move to Glen Oak. And Sarah liked it that way.

For years they would never allow her to be in the bathroom for longer than five minutes. She was not allowed to lock the bathroom door, either. Her bedroom door was not allowed to be shut at any time of the day, even though Sarah had tried explaining to her parents that it was a fire hazard to leave it open. Her parents didn't care. They would rather her be trapped in flames than allow her to have privacy.

After she graduated high school, her parents started to become a little bit more lenient. They didn't go upstairs twenty-four-seven to make sure her bedroom door was open, and they stopped checking the handle on the bathroom door every time she went in. Regardless, she was still their every obsession.

For the years following the incident, her parents tried to make sure she was comfortable at all times. Was she warm enough? Was she cool enough? Was she hungry? And it became bothersome. It was like they feared if she was ever uncomfortable, they thought it would happen again. They just didn't understand.

And heaven forbid she would bring a guy home. That was when she had started sneaking around. When she was sixteen, her parents wouldn't sign the release forms for her to get her driver's license. She had been irate. That was when she started sneaking out of the house, though it hadn't been the first time.

She had been clever, stuffing her bed with pillows to make it look like she was lying in bed. She'd sneak out the bedroom window and climb down the tree. Her parents didn't have a clue, at least to her knowledge.

She'd sneak away with boys. She went to a few parties, but she didn't do anything more than have a few drinks. Truly, she didn't think she'd ever been drunk, nor did she have sex. Matt was her first, and she was proud to say that she had waited until marriage.

Matt didn't know about this side of her, though. There were a few things Matt didn't know about her, and she wanted to keep it that way. After all, she was sure there was a lot she didn't know about him. Husbands and wives didn't have to share everything, did they?

The nausea was building on her. She rolled out of her bed and wobbled into the bathroom. The room was spinning faster and faster as she walked. She wasn't sure if she could make it to the toilet.

Her stomach gargled, and the taste of vomit filled her mouth.

* * *

_Hey, look, it's another story. I know I shouldn't be starting another story, and you all just want me to finish Outside Heaven. This idea has been circling my mind for many months, and it just won't leave. I must write it. Outside Heaven will be finished, don't worry. I wrote 51 chapters in 8 months. I need a little break. _


	2. Chapter 2

December 1994

The sweet smell of apples and honey filled almost-fourteen-year-old Sarah Glass's nostrils. Hanukkah had arrived. When she was small, Hanukkah was always Sarah's favorite time of year. Hanukkah was not only a religious holiday that required her to spend hours at the synagogue, but it was one of the only times each year she had the opportunity to see all of her cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Both her mother and father came from relatively large families, whom lived all around the world. Her Aunt Elyse, who still lived at home with Sarah's maternal grandparents, was Sarah's only aunt who still lived in Brooklyn. Though, in recent months her parents didn't approve of Sarah's being around Elyse. Elyse was a "bad influence."

But it was the holiday season, and Sarah's family was always focused on family get-togethers; Elyse and Rebekah were family. Since Rebekah's birth, Sarah had only seen her two-month-old cousin on two separate occasions.

The fireplace warmed her maternal grandparents' home, as Sarah sat in the cozy living room. She gazed into the small, doll-like cocoa brown eyes of the little body in her arms. The baby curiously looked up at her.

"She's so precious," Sarah told Elyse, who sat next to Sarah. Elyse was slender; Sarah couldn't help but be jealous. Although Elyse was two years older than Sarah, she was a good two sizes smaller. After giving birth, she had instantly slimmed down to her pre-pregnancy weight.

"She is, isn't she? It's too bad that you can't come over more. I'd totally let you baby-sit her," Elyse grinned, proudly looking down at her daughter.

Sarah shrugged, forcing a smile. She knew that she and Elyse were not alone; in her peripheral vision, Sarah could see her father standing by the entry-way to the kitchen. Sarah's teeth sunk into her red lips, the taste of blood soaked up her tongue.

"Someday," she spoke hesitantly, "I hope to have a baby as adorable as Rebekah."

Almost instantaneously, she heard her father's voice call, "And that someday won't be for many, many years, Sarah Glass."

Sarah felt her face burn hotly, turning her head toward the kitchen. "I know, Daddy," she responded in a huff.

"I would hope so," her father smiled, disappearing into the kitchen. Still, Sarah knew that he was listening carefully.

Since Elyse had announced her pregnancy, Sarah's father had begun watching her like a hawk. Sarah had heard her mother and her father arguing into the wee hours of the night. Her father blamed her mother Elyse's pregnancy; after all, Elyse was Sarah's mother's sister. Thus, she must be Sarah's mother's responsibility.

Sarah had heard her mother shoot back that she had done her best to set a good example for her six younger siblings. She was the oldest, and had married when Elyse was barely a year old. Of course, she couldn't be there for every moment of her youngest sister's life. Sarah's mother was busy raising her own family.

No matter how hard she tried, Sarah couldn't understand her father's reasoning. Granted, her father came from a long history of rabbis; he too followed the family tradition. His two younger brothers, on the other hand, had fled the state. One was practicing law in the state of Georgia, whereas the other was a pilot. His youngest sister, Sarah's favorite Aunt Rachel, was going to school to become a veterinarian.

She knew quite well that success was expected from her. Though, she didn't have the slightest idea about what she wanted to do with her life. She knew, at some point, she wanted to get married and have kids. There was no doubt in her mind that having children would be in her very distant future. Her father had established that she would go to college, start her career, get married, and have children—in that order, with no alterations.

That was her dad, and Sarah knew what was expected from her. The Glass name had a prestigious reputation, and she was expected to carry on that reputation. That was, if she wanted to receive any of the money that was sitting at the bank in her trust fund.

The room went quiet, and for a moment Sarah wondered if her father had finally let her be. She knew it was only wishful thinking. Elyse stood up. "Hey, I'm going to go upstairs for a little bit…I don't suppose you'd mind watching Rebekah for me, would you?"

Sarah swallowed, wide eyed. She looked down at the little girl's frail face. "Y-You'd trust me with her? What if I break her?"

Elyse giggled. "You won't break her! She's a human being, not a china doll, silly girl. You'll do just fine." Before Sarah could respond, Elyse began heading toward the stairway. "It won't be that long, anyway." She disappeared up the stairs, leaving Sarah alone in the room.

Making sure she was supporting the little girl's head tightly, Sarah looked into the little girl's eyes. "So, I guess it's just you and me." Her heart thudded strongly. Within moments of Elyse's disappearance, the little girl became restless. Tears formed in the baby's eyes; her eyes closed, and her small mouth rounded open. A scream burned into Sarah's ears. "Shhh, there, there," Sarah calmly whispered, closing her eyes, praying for some guidance.

"What's going on in there?" she heard her father's voice. Sarah swallowed. Her father appeared, noticing Sarah alone with the baby. "What on Earth are you doing alone with Elyse's baby, Sarah?" His tone was harsh and demanding.

"Elyse went upstairs for a few minutes," Sarah quickly answered. "She'll only be gone a few minutes…" The baby continued to scream.

"She shouldn't have done that. Rebekah is her daughter, and her responsibility. Not yours. You need to take the baby up to her. Now, Sarah." Her father's cold dark brown eyes sternly gazed into Sarah's.

"Okay, Daddy," Sarah whispered, knowing she had to what her father told her to do. Carefully, she stood up, cuddling the baby tightly against her shirt. The baby's tears bled into her burgundy red shirt. "Shhh," she whispered to the little girl, walking toward the stairs. For a moment, the baby went silent. Sarah released a sigh of relief.

Continuing to ensure she was supporting the baby's head, Sarah made her way to the upper level of her grandparents' home. The hallway was silent. Heading toward her aunt's room, Sarah noticed that the bathroom door was shut. Immediately, she figured that Elyse was using the restroom.

Carefully shifting the baby to her right arm, she lightly knocked on the bathroom door. The baby's tears still flooded against Sarah's shirt, though the baby had stopped screaming. "Elyse, it's Sarah—Dad says that I need to give you Rebekah back." She heard a loud bang inside the bathroom. "Elyse, are you in there?"

"Uh—yeah—one second, okay?" Elyse's voice was rushed and panicked.

Sarah stood outside the door, stroking the baby's soft brown hair. The sweet aromas from downstairs had risen to the upstairs. Sarah's nose tingled, thinking about the meal she would share with her family later that evening.

Finally, the door swung open, and immediately Sarah noticed something was out of place. Elyse's hair was a mess, and although Elyse was wearing long sleeves, Sarah noticed a big bandage around her aunt's wrist that had not been present when Elyse had left Sarah with the baby.

"What happened to your wrist?" Sarah immediately inquired. "You didn't have the bandage on before."

"It's nothing," Elyse rushed. "I just cut myself shaving. That's it."

"Why were you shaving your arms?" Sarah questioned hesitantly. "Mom always told me that you're not supposed to shave your arms."

Elyse swallowed, taking the baby from Sarah's arms. She looked away from Sarah's curious eyes, and shook her head. "Sarah," Elyse spoke slowly, "if I tell you something, you have to promise not to say a word to anyone. And I mean anyone."

At that moment, Sarah realized that Elyse's secret would change Sarah's entire outlook on life.

"I promise," Sarah whispered. "I won't tell anyone. You can count on me."


	3. Chapter 3

January 1995

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Sarah…"

She couldn't believe she was finally fourteen. Almost a month had passed since Elyse had divulged her secret to Sarah, a secret Sarah had promised to not tell a soul. Sometimes she felt like she was only hurting Elyse by not telling anyone, but she didn't want to betray her cousin. In a way, she felt "grown up", knowing Elyse trusted Sarah enough to tell her such a big secret. In recent weeks, her attention had been focused on someone completely different: someone new who had entered her life after the holiday break; he was just another secret. How many secrets could Sarah Glass handle?

Sarah's attention focused on her own birthday. Her parents brought out her birthday cake, which was soon to be devoured. But for now, the candles were lit and it was all hers.

"Make a wish, Honey," a mother's loving smile toward her daughter spread across her mother's face.

Sarah closed her eyes, thinking about her plans for later that night. She glanced at Dena and Leah, her best friends. Both had wide smiles on their faces. That night they were planning on having a slumber party, and it was fixed to be a blast.

She closed her eyes, preparing to blow out her candles. The image of someone who was not present came to mind. _If only he could be here, _she thought, knowing her parents didn't even know he existed. And if they did, they would never approve of him.

"_You're barely fourteen," _they'd say_, "which is too young to be dating." _…And especially if said person wasn't Jewish.

She could already hear it, and after what had happened to her Aunt Elyse, Sarah knew that she would not be allowed to date until she was thirty.

_I wish we were allowed to be together, _she thought and blew out her candles. Everyone began clapping, and her six-year-old cousin Elijah blurted out, "So what'd you wish for, Sarah!"

She rolled her brown eyes. "If I told you, then it wouldn't come true!" she threw at him.

"Yeah, Dumb-o, it wouldn't come true!" Elijah's ten-year-old brother, Jeremiah, nudged him.

"Hey kids, be nice," Elijah and Jeremiah's dad, Sarah's Uncle Ruben, warned his sons. He held his youngest son, three-year-old Rafael, in his arms.

Ruben was her father's closest-in-age brother, though he was five years younger than her dad. He and his wife, Anna, lived in Georgia with their three boys. They had so kindly surprised Sarah for her birthday. Since her family was plastered all over the globe, Sarah rarely got to see her relatives other than at Hanukkah. Since Ruben and Anna had visited in December, Sarah was surprised that they'd made the trip up to New York so soon again.

"I am being nice!" Jeremiah protested, rolling his eyes.

Ruben looked over at his wife Anna. She sighed, shaking her head.

"Yeah, whatever," Elijah mumbled and looked toward Sarah's mom. "Aunt Rosina, can you _please _cut the cake? I'm hungry!"

Sarah's mom laughed and looked toward her husband, Sarah's dad. "Richard, I don't suppose you could hand me a knife?"

Her father's eyes widened largely. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Honey. Can you be trusted with a knife?" Sarah's mom lowered her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. Richard laughed, "Kidding, kidding…now stand back, kids." His eyes were specifically aimed at Sarah, Jeremiah, and Elijah.

Richard Glass opened the drawer and pulled out the biggest knife they had in the house. Carefully, he handed the knife to his wife. Slightly annoyed, his wife grabbed the knife from her husband's arm. Sarah caught herself gazing at the knife's blade. Rosina pointed the sharp blade downward, edging close to the cake. The room went silent, as the entire family gazed.

She sliced the thick blade into the fluffy cake. Instantly the small ones reached out for their pieces. "Now, now, let's have the birthday girl have her piece first," Richard laughed, patting his daughter's curly hair.

Sarah blushed. Her mother smiled, nodding in agreement with her husband. She handed the first piece to her only daughter. "Happy birthday, princess," Rosina whispered, kissing Sarah's forehead, and handing the cake to her.

An overwhelming embarrassment took over Sarah, as she felt all eyes on her.

Sarah knew that she was loved, but sometimes she felt so empty. Why did she feel this way? She had a mother and father who loved and adored her, she had two amazing best friends, and she family who cared enough about her to come visit her on her birthday, despite the states that separated them.

She looked at her Aunt Elyse, who was a mother at sixteen. Her family had practically disowned her, and the only reason she was allowed to live in her parents' house was because her mother, Sarah's grandmother, wouldn't hear of placing her child on the street. If it had been up to Elyse's father, Elyse would have been kicked out of the house. Sarah could sense the tension in her grandparents' eyes whenever she saw them. It was no wonder Elyse had been lead to where she was now.

Sometimes Sarah felt so selfish. Here, her parents only wanted to protect her, but Sarah took everything for granted. She looked at her best friends. Dena and Leah both had already kissed boys, and Sarah hadn't even done that. Sarah couldn't imagine bringing a boy home because of how her parents would react. Didn't they realize that by protecting her they were only hurting her? There were days Sarah just wanted to run away and become someone else.

At this moment in Sarah Glass's life, she had no idea how perfect her life really was. In just a few short months, Sarah will give anything to go back to this moment.


End file.
